2011

I haven't been blogging much, no. Although I do have quite a few things in mind, which I'll probably procrastinate. But seeing that 2011 is coming to an end, I find it fitting that I at least put up one last post.

As usual I can't really remember what happens month by month, which reminds me...I should do a wrap up after every month just to keep my sanity in check. But I guess, this year has been a great year of awakening.

I realised 2 most important virtue/value/principle that I would like to see in myself: hardworking & initiative.

I think it has been there all along, it's just that I've never come to fully understand nor realise the urgency of procuring these values. And yes, I'm quite proud to say I've worked a lot harder on my studies this last 2 sems. Although results weren't as encouraging as I had hoped, I'm keeping the faith. I'll work harder next sem. And never forgetting the friends who took me by the hand, for who I am, and showed me the light. A bit over dramatic, but seriously, I'm very thankful to all of you - you know who you are.

For the second value, initiative, it took me 5 days in a Buddhist camp to realise this fact and punture my hugely inflated ego:

"I finally realised that taking initiative is not being "lebih". It's taking the first step and putting our ego aside because we care." -Loo Han, 2011-

I suppose all this while, I was too afraid to take initiative lest I was shunned by our lesser civilised society. But some people have taught me a lot, and if everyone's too afraid to make the first move, no one will. So, take heart, I'll be more initiative from now onwards.

For the second half of the year, I would say that my life has been changed forever. All thanks to INCOVAR. It's a spiritual awakening of sorts and a realisation that there's a lot more out there than what I think (again, stupid ego). But really, I have to thank Ms. Ng for pushing me to go for a camp I otherwise would have skipped! Thank you!

Since then, there's no turning back. I've becomed a lot more active in Buddhist activities up and about. And total Buddhist camp count = 3!

Also, I have to say that I feel very blessed and thankful. Especially to my ever understanding family. I haven't been able to spend much time with them. I was supposed to be a homebody this December and yet, my adventurous spirit kept me far from being that. Come January and February I will... hopefully. Fingers crossed!

Oh! And I've rediscovered my passion for adventure,spontaneity and the great outdoors! Ahh, what a feeling to go back to nature. Realising that I actually love scout camps much more than I think!

Last but not least, I have to say I've finally found some peace within myself. A sense of purpose and a bigger understanding of life. I feel as if I've grown so much older, and yet the older I grow, the younger I feel. That is to say, we grow up to become who we once were, with a little more wisdom.

Ahem, anyhow, enough for the serious talk. It's the end of the year, and we're still here! We rejoice, we rejoice, we rejoice!