The Road Not Taken

As mentioned in Project 365 Grateful, I was browsing through some old blogs of mine and of high school friends. Most were abandoned, some were surprisingly revived! Needless to say, it brought back a flood of memories.

It started with stumbling across a blog made by the Form 6 crew which I was once a part of for a short little time. And looking through post by post, there's this tinge of regret/wonder of what if... What if I have chosen this route instead? Would I have been part of this family so tightly knitted together? Would I have achieved the same, lower or higher mentality/personal growth that I have today? Would I be me today?

But soon, I realised I was drowning myself in self-wallow, thinking of what-ifs. That route never ends, and the journey is never smooth. Then, I realised that I am very happy for them! I am also very happy to have known some of them, to have joined them for a short period of time and to still keep in touch with some of them!

Not only that, I realised how grateful I should be. Today. Now. For what I lost in Form Six, I gained in Monash! I gained a new bunch of friends. The very fact that I walked in to class not knowing a single soul just scares the shit out of me. But just look at me now! I'm not too bad after all. In fact, I'm happy where I am, of what I did, and of how I responded to the situations at hand.

Fast forward a bit more, and here I am. With a bunch of goofy, whacky, crazy bunch of friends that I would have otherwise not known! But now, they have becomed a bunch that I would not forget! Ever! I always had this mentality that, hey! you know what? Uni is just a quick transition phase to your goal. Your true friends are your high school friends and your colleagues have yet to be decided. So who's uni friends in that picture?

But I know realise that the journey is the goal.

And this moment is all I have! And the friends I make at any point in time also have their own high school friends, their own colleagues, but who's to say that that should stop us from becoming the best of friends? Who's to say that they're not true? And who's to say that they're not worth it? Only I, me and myself and create that kind of limitations. And once I understood that, I quickly realised how much I'm missing out! And I should give everyone a chance to be my friend regardless of how long we have known each other!

Absolutely ridiculously, once you realised what you have been doing! And absolutely ridiculous to think of it any other way! I don't know what that Eureka moment was for me, but I suppose it started in my second year. I started actively making the effort to be a better friend and not just stick to whom I'm comfortable with. And just by shifting that perspective, I realised that most people feel the same insecurities, the same vulnerability and are just waiting for someone to make that first move. So why not me?

And today, I am happy where I am. Happy that I have realised this truth. Happy to know that no matter what happens, no matter what situations I'm thrown into, I would be able to survive. Because once you have been thrown into the deep side of the pool, you learn to swim very quickly.

I would also like to thank all my friends, best friends, close friends, not so close friends, acquaintances, smiling faces on the streets and everyone who crossed my path for crossing my path. I want to thank all those who stood by me while a was lost, stood by me while I figured my mess out, stood by me while I metamorphed into me. Thank you all for your patience and understanding. I am truly grateful for every little deed.

P.S. This is quite a personal post and is something that has been a speck at the back of my mind that I always knew I had to write it down somewhere, so, here it is. I would agree that it's quite emotional and I hope it has not been a bore to you, dear reader. Cheers!

Nevertheless, I leave you with a poem I really like, back in high school by Robert Frost.

Robert Frost (1874–1963).  Mountain Interval.  1920.

1. The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5 Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,         10 And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.         15 I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.         20

Picture from here